


Sirius' 10 Rules (or Pillow Talk)

by HaelieStorm



Series: Breaking Rules [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Hogwarts Seventh Year, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, Marauders, Most characters are just mentioned, Random story, Sirius is a bit of a Player, The 10 Rules Just Came to Me, humour (hopefully), so I had to write this before I could sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 12:39:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1226671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaelieStorm/pseuds/HaelieStorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily has always liked to reprimand Sirius when he broke school rules. When she finds out he has his own rules (and has broken many of those too) she just finds it funny. </p><p>Lily and James discuss Sirius, and discover something surprising when comparing their information.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sirius' 10 Rules (or Pillow Talk)

**Author's Note:**

> So, this just sort of happened. I don't know what sort (if any) reaction this will get, but I had fun writing it, so just thought I'd upload. Sharing is caring, right? Anyway, hope you like. There isn't smut- it's only implied ;)

Lily has always liked to point out when Sirius breaks rules. When they are school rules, (depending on the level of danger/stupidity involved in the misdemeanor), she has been known to do a small number of things. Either be lenient, or award detentions (or dock house points, but that's a level he rarely sank to since reaching seventh year). When they are his own rules, however, she simply finds it funny.

"Sirius, I'm Head Girl so I have to do something! If you don't want to get in trouble, stop getting caught!" Lily shouted, frustrated.

"It's not _my_  fault Pete's got the map! I don't get caught on purpose just to annoy you y'know? Well... Not any more, at least," Sirius told her with a trademark smile.

"Why does it always seem to be me saying 'detention, Black'? I don't feel good about it, and I know you're not happy with me as a result..." She sighed. "Why are you out after curfew?"

"Errr kitchen?" he told her hesitantly.

"You can do better," she said, with a smile of her own at his caught-with-hand-in-the-cookie-jar expression.

"Alright! I was meeting Marlene, happy?" he admitted sourly.

"In the Room of Requirement?" she promted, realising the direction he had been coming from, "Why?"

He did nothing but raise his eyebrows suggestively. _Oh_.

"Again?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes," he stated quietly.

"She's my best friend. You better not hurt her, she's a lovely person and, despite what you might think, she might actually..." Lily trailed off as a thought occurred to her. She knew Marlene wasn't exactly an innocent girl. In fact, she could rival Sirius' reputation with the opposite sex (and the same one, if truth be told). But she could normally have handled a guy like Sirius. The two were close friends however, and that was a new thing for both of them. Marlene might actually _care_ this time and, unlike all the other girls, he cared about her. Lily knew that. Perhaps she should simply leave them to figure it out themselves.

"Never mind," she told him.

"Come on Evans, we're friends aren't we? Just this one time you could let me off! Or at least go easy," he pleaded.

"Just... Only the one detention. And no points off, either. It's not like this is a repeat of last time, when I caught the THREE of you in a broom closet. How'd you even swing that, anyway?" She cut across him as he opened his mouth. "Never mind I don't want to know! Go to bed."

He turned, heading for the common room. "Thanks Lily, means a lot," he called as he disappeared from sight. Player... But strangely loveable, with a heart. _Maybe he is perfect for Marlene,_ Lily thought absently, continuing her patrol.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

"What's wrong, James?" Lily asked from her position, lying alongside him in her bed. They always slept in hers, ever since the first time she brought it up. The memory of asking which way they were going as she backtracked away from his kisses, trying to keep a straight head, made her smile everytime. "You've been quiet this evening," she continued in explanation, concerned.

 

"Nothing's _wrong_ exactly," he replied slowly, "and why would being quiet automatically mean something's wrong? I can be quiet!" He rolled over to face her, smirking slightly.

"Yes, yes, I know. You can be quiet because you can do anything, you're just that amazing. Especially be modest, you're great at that," Lily joked, laughing at the very idea of a modest, quiet James.

"Damn straight!" He tells her, laughing along with the hysterical redhead.

She took a few deep breaths and insisted "Come on, for real this time. You were sitting alone when I got back from patrol. You always spend that time with your mates, same as I do when it's your night."

"Yeah, well, I was going to be with Sirius 'cause Peter's in detention for not completing the potions essay and Remus was helping Frank with something. But when I asked him if he wanted to come to the Heads common room he said he was busy, but wouldn't tell me why. That's really rare, is all, and I was just trying to figure out what it could be," he said, frowning.

 _Good, he's not upset by something then,_ Lily thought. _He's just annoyed at being left in the dark._ They hadn't been dating long and, despite his claims, James being quiet was a little weird and off-putting for his fairly recent girlfriend. "Well, I know where he was, but I don't know why he wouldn't mention it. He was just meeting Marlene in the Room of Requirement," Lily said, off-hand. She certainly didn't anticipate what happened next.

"HE WAS WHAT!" James shouted, sitting up instantly, the red covers dropping to his waist while she stared up at him, startled.

"Why is that so shocking?" Lily asked, hastening to untangle herself from the sheet and sit up so they were on a level. "They're friends aren't they? And you shouldn't be surprised. _Everyone_  was there when they got caught shagging in the boys dormitory two months back. Even I was."

 _That_ had been funny. A post-quidditch-win party, complete with firewhiskey (curtesy of the Marauders, of course) had resulted in many drunk teens. However, only half of the centre-of-attention duo was in attendance. To everyone's surprise, including James himself, Sirius was nowhere to be found. Until, of course, he and Marlene alerted the whole tower with their sound effects. Having so many people catch them like that must have been embarrassing even for them, but serves them right for the volume level. Lily could remember laughing along with James before they both helped move the crowd away. He hadn't seem bothered by it.

"Exactly! I was there _last time_. That means this is the _second time_. That means he's breaking rules for her, rules in plural. He never does that," he explained, awe in his voice.

"What? What do you mean he doesn't break rules for girls? That's about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," she says, incredulous.

"No, I meant his own rules," he tells her, relaxing and lying down again. "He has ten rules of his own for being with girls."

"He doesn't!" she replied on a giggle, lowering her head to rest on his chest.

"Oh, he does," James told her, smiling. Her giggles turned into fits of laughter.

"I knew he was pathetic about this sort of thing, but... Oh Merlin, this is too much," she struggled to say coherently through her laughter.

"I know, I know," he said, chuckling, no better off than her.

"So, what are these rules exactly? Why did you almost jump out of bed just then like someone jinxed your arse?" she inquired, grinning.

"I resent that," he told her in a grumpy voice. However, he couldn't keep his smile from surfacing, so the effort was wasted. "Okay, well, I'll fill you in if you promise not to take the piss out of him. I'm not supposed to 'reveal his secrets' or whatever."

"I promise. Sure you can remember them all?" She quirked an eyebrow.

"I've heard them enough bloody times. Ever since fifth year. He was so proud of them he'd just parrot them to us all the time. Moony, Wormy and I used to argue back and forth as to who would put a stop to it. That lasted until Remus caved and told him to shut the fuck up."

"Typical, get Remus to do your dirty work," she sighed.

"Yeah, well. Some made sense at the time. I realised later that the fact he was getting laid was because it was _him_ and girls just seem to fall for his charm. None the less, he _was_  getting laid and I was impressed," he said defensively.

"And you weren't? Why's that? Weren't following Black's Magic Ten Rules?" she questioned sardonically.

"They weren't guidelines for making redheads fall for you. So they weren't helpful to me," he said simply.

"Oh," Lily said, touched.

"It was always you, Evans," he told her seriously and firmly, lowering his voice. "I wanted you, not a long line of no-strings-attatched girls. He was having fun, getting exactly what he wanted. I was impressed, because that was my goal. Getting what I wanted." They both went very quiet at this point, staring at each other.

The silence was intense, so Lily broke it. "S-so, the ten rules?"

James blinked quickly a few times succession and cleared his throat. "Right. Well, the first one was: 'The girl has to come. Every time. Anything less, and you're not doing well enough.' You don't have to say it, I know," he added at the end, rolling his eyes.

"What a prat," she shook her head in exasperation.

"The second one is the one he broke: 'Never sleep with the same girl twice. (Of course, this does not include more than one round in a single night/encounter)' or that's what it says on the list he keeps in a notebook under his four-poster," James said, frowning in thought.

"Hmmm, well this is at least the second time. And it's not the first time I've suspected something was going on. She never shuts up about him, which doesn't really happen with Marly," Lily reveals, thoughtful. "Alice on the other hand," she sighed before getting her thoughts back on track. "What else?"

"Number three: 'Never fall in love. Don't stare into her eyes or anything, it's dangerous.' which leads to an obvious question," James speculated, "has he broken that one too?"

"I've seen him staring at her before!" Lily yelped. "In the common room last week! We were all sitting by the fire talking and he didn't even hear me when I spoke to him because he was totally zoned out. When I eventually got a response and asked him where his mind had disappeared to this time, he brushed it off, but he was looking at her, I've just realised, and she was looking back."

"He's broken at least part of that one then. And you of all people can testify as to the next one. Rule four: 'Never sleep with someone that sleeps around more that you.' Well, Evans?" James had an extremely cheeky look on his face.

"Well... If any girl comes close, I guess it's Marlene."

"Nicely put. McKinnon couldn't scold you for that, I'm sure."

"Shut up. Next rule."

"No need to snap, Lily-Flower. Rule five: 'Never less than a C-Cup. And that's pushing it' Even I think that's a stupid rule, by the way," he added.

"Oh for fucks sake!" she spluttered.

"Language, Evans," James laughed.

"Oh, come on. That's just... Downright nasty," she growled.

"Well, has he broken it?" he said, attempting to change the subject.

"Oh, the thing about bras and sizes is that it really depends on where you buy them. Marlene and I will be the first to tell you how annoying it is that you can be one size here and another there-"

"Woah Evans. Don't think I needed all of that! What sizes exactly?" He sounded overwhelmed by her outburst.

"Too much girly information? Sorry. Err, Marly is anything from a B to a C, so I guess that doesn't count as _not_ breaking the rule. Especially with that little note on the end," she concluded, unhappy disapproval evident.

"Come on Evans. You look very kissable when you pout, but it's not worth your bad mood. Just think how funny this is. This is more or less every rule broken so far. Padfoot has so much teasing coming his way," he says, childish anticipation spreading into his eyes.

He looks so young like this Lily can't help but soften. "Never thought you'd be so happy to make fun of him, your best-friend. Is this for my unimpressed benefit, or do you have a score to settle?" she murmurs, drawing patterns on his collar bone.

"Bit of both. Mainly, this will be payback for the six years of crap he's given me about you, but if it makes you happy, that's a bonus," he says, running a hand through her hair.

"Six years? Though you'd liked me since fourth year, not first," she smirked.

"Smug much? For your information, I didn't have to do anything other than glance at you for Padfoot to make fun. Only with you, though. Maybe he's smarter than you give him credit for," he speculates, not taking his eye off her swirling fingers.

"Maybe. So, four rules out of five broken, and that first one doesn't really count. Not to mention, I'd have to ask to find out the answer- which I refuse to do. Tell me the rest?" she asked.

"Sure. The next one is the reason I actually pointed it out, and he said it was just one time, one rule. So I dropped it. That's why I was shocked, rule six: 'Never have sex when you are, or could possibly be, good friends. Friends are extremely important and you have to hold onto the good ones.' McKinnon definitely fitted that category," James explained.

"Do you think he'll hurt her? She really cares this time..." she trailed off worriedly.

"I think... This time it'll be different. I know he can be a bit of a tool, but so can I and he's a great guy. You know that. Besides, he cares too this time, apparently," James reasoned.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. They're just never like this, and it's freaking me out a little," Lily admitted.

"Same here. They'll sort it, we just have to wait."

"Right. What's next after 'don't sleep with friends'?"

"Before I tell you that one, I'm warning you that I'm sworn to secrecy not to reveal the story behind it. Sirius actually made us swear we wouldn't tell, and we end cursed with permanently itchy feet and boil covered spines if we break it. Pete was so scared he nearly wet himself as he vowed," James said, reminiscently.

"Just tell me rule seven!" Lily said, snapping him out of his reverie.

"Alright, chill. Complete with note, number seven is: 'Never let a red-head know your name. (Unless it's unavoidable and you think it's worth the consequence. Do NOT decide whilst drunk)'. Just remember I can't tell you where that came from!" James was shaking with laughter at this point.

"I'm guessing bad experience? Come on, there must be a way around the curse!" she practically begged.

"There really isn't. Let's just say going to London during Easter break in fifth year was one of the worst ideas Padfoot ever had," he told her carefully.

"Which means very bad, considering between the pair of you, you've had more bad ideas than the rest of the school put together," Lily told him.

James looked stupidly proud as he admitted, "True. But enough of my accomplishments. I don't know that he's broken the next one, not for a long time anyway. Rule eight: 'Never kiss them unless it's leading to something. Leading them on with innocent kisses would be properly cruel.' What is it Evans?"

Lily had frozen in shock. A tiny smile was curling her lip as she looked at James and whispered "He kisses her goodnight. She told me he does. And often. Never when anyone's around though. We were drinking and gossiping in our dorm not long ago, and she admitted he was a good kisser." She was beaming by this point in time, and James was smiling at her happiness.

"Starting to think he's in as much trouble as I am," he muttered, kissing her forehead fondly.

"What?"

"Nevermind. So that's six out of eight, but only because Marly isn't ginger. Basically everything so far. Rule nine: 'Never undervalue/dismiss a slightly chubby girl. There's more to grab and she'll most likely be more fun and willing to please.' Now, don't take this as me checking out other girls, but Marlene's really fit. She plays quidditch and everything. So I think that counts as another one broken, yeah?" James asked, trying for her opinion.

"Definitely. And I know she's fit, I shared a dorm with her for years," Lily said suggestively.

"What do you mean by that?" James asked quickly.

"Just what I said. So what's the last rule?" she promted, ignoring his obvious interest in other things.

"Does it really matter?" he said, slowly running his hand down her back and slipping under her camisole.

"Does to me," she said, digging her nails into his shoulder in warning.

"Alright! Finally: 'Never wake up cuddling. It's ok to spend the night (you might end up with free breakfast) and it's ok to be spooning when she drifts off. However once she does, roll her away (waking up apart sends her a subconscious message). If you ever wake up with her in your arms get the hell out.' And no I didn't add anything to that. He's got all of that written down," he said, before continuing his exploration of her skin.

"Well, that's one he hasn't been broken, I don't think... And you're right. It really... Doesn't matter..." They left the conversation at that, losing interest in favour of other activities.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

He really couldn't work out why he kept letting this happen. He was sleeping with one of his good friends, and this wasn't even the only time. It was the third. Why? _Perhaps because you really enjoy it, and really like that it's with her,_ said a small voice in his head.

Sirius couldn't help but put his face in his hands and groan slightly at this. Glancing around, he took in the spacious room, complete with colourful wall hangings, scattered cushions and, of course, a king-sized four poster bed. Lastly, he let his gaze rest on the beautiful girl in said bed, tucked under the covers and sleeping sweetly. He knew he should just go, just get up and leave. She probably expected that. Only problem was, he didn't really want to. Giving in, he slid back into bed beside Marlene and wrapped an arm around her, before allowing himself to breathe her in. He knew if he went to sleep, he'd wake up like this. _Oh hell,_ he thought, _I'm breaking plenty of rules already, what's the harm in one more?_

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Morning." The voice floated into his mind and he forced himself into groggy consciousness. She was curled up in his arms, gazing at him warmly. He couldn't help but smile at that.

"Morning yourself. Why'd you go and wake me up hmm?" he asked, pulling her even closer to show her he didn't mind.

"Didn't want to just leave without so much as a goodbye, but I really need a shower. So I'm off," she told him, sounding regretful. A swift kiss on the cheek followed, then she worked her way out of his arms and went to find her clothes. She pulled them on effortlessly as she added, "Seeing as you're not a one night stand anymore."

"No. What am I, then?" he asked. This wasn't rhetorical, he'd really like an answer.

"I don't know. What do you want to be?" she asked hesitantly. She wasn't going to make this easy, was she?

"I don't know," he said. It was mostly true.

"Well, when you work it out-" she started, now heading for the door as quickly as she could, but he cut her off as he jumped out of the bed.

"Alright, fuck! I... Do you want to try this, then? Dating? 'Cause I know you don't really do that, but neither do I so..." he trailed off. Since when was this so hard. Since when was he so pathetic? He sounded like Prongs.

"Yeah. Let's try it. If we fuck it up I think we can be big enough people to get over it yeah?" she asked, hand resting on the door handle.

"Yeah. I'll see you later then?" he asked, a warm feeling spreading throughout him.

"I should hope so," she said against his lips, before kissing him goodbye and slipping out of the exit, leaving him grinning stupidly. He shook himself out of it and quickly dressed, before following her example and leaving the Come and Go Room. Expecting an empty corridor, he was rather taken aback to see a person before him, and his initial relief at seeing James immediately receded when he saw the expression on his face. Pure smugness and anticipation. It was the 'this is gonna be such a good prank' look, and it was directed at him.

"Hey Prongsy, what's happening?" Sirius said nervously.

"Was going to ask you that. So, did you wake up cuddling the lovely Marlene this morning? I just watched her leave," James told him with an evil grin. Sirius groaned. It was even worse than he thought.

"Shove off," Sirius said, and continued towards the end of the corridor.

"Because I worked out that's the only rule you _haven't_ broken for her. Smitten are we? Is Padfoot in love?" James teased, ignoring his words. Sirius knew he had this coming, but it wasn't going to be fun.

"Shove off," he repeated.

"You kiss her goodnight, huh?" James smiled.

"Ah, shit..." Sirius lamented. James went on to laugh histerically at the grey eyed boy, before clapping him on the shoulder.

"So are you official yet?" Sirius sighed, prepared for the worst.

"Yeah, I reckon so." He didn't even bother trying not to smile.

"Good for you. Happy for you mate," James said seriously. Sirius look at his best friend in surprise at this. "Really," he added.

"Thanks James," he said, meaning it. James nodded and they walked for a short time until...

"Seriously though, good night kisses? How long has that been going on?" James said, prodding him in the stomach. _I knew it was a trap, too good to be true,_ Sirius thought. _I'm in for it now..._

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I may/may not add more to this: do a few little oneshot prequels (Such as a Jily get-together, details on the Quidditch after-party, and maybe even Sirius and the Readhead!). If you'd be interested, review! Reviews are love!  
> Thanks heaps,  
> -H xx


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